Kirsten summed it up, but I'm going to add my own quick and easy philosophy. Its very much the same, but I keep it in a very pointed plan. I will not even think about the chance of moving past education during any actual access dispute (this does not include taxi cabs, they are special
). If I think about it, I might have the need to threaten. That is not helpful so I keep it out of my mind all together.
1. I don't know if you can function in your dissociated state. Try taking a deep breath and remove yourself from your anger. Keep breathing until you can smile at them.
2. Speak very evenly and lower your voice. Remember it is education, not defense. You know more than them. I speak slowly, I explain it like you would explain a math problem to someone who just doesn't get it. If they start to yell, they are the one who looks stupid.
3. Remember that a dog acting trained will get probably 90% less confrontations than one that doesn't. I tend to drop a pen or a coin and Hope automatically picks it up. Its not a task that typically mitigates my needs, but what the heck--it proves the trained point. Very calmly get your education material out. If it is a grunt, I leave the education materials to the supervisor. Like Nora said, appear like you have all day.
4. If they still push it, ask to speak to their supervisor. In a sugary-sweet voice explain that their employee doesn't seem to be educated on service dogs. Even if the supervisor is confused themselves, if you play it right they won't want to look stupid in front of their employee. Suggest calling the ADA info line for assistance in setting up a training program for all employees. I volunteer to call the ADA info line with them right then. I only had to do that at my eye doctors of all places, it was the receptionist not the doctor who had an issue with me.
5. If you have finally been given access but it took a while and I am up to it, I call the manager the next day volunteering education material. I always make this call if it a restaurant. Call me devilish, but I have always gotten a gift card
I've never not been given access (taxi cabs not included). During my early SD years, I didn't have this plan. I instead raised my voice and ended up calling the police. The police aren't educated nor in most places are they able to arrest anyone (and it looks rather stupid and takes a lot of time). Both times the police told them to serve me, but it was a bitter ending.
Other more deviant ways to address access disputes (probably not the polite way):
Ignore the greeter challenging you. Pretend you do not see them or hear them. Wear headphones. The fact is that if they really have an issue, they will chase you down. Now that is funny to see.
Tell them that I will make a deal with them: If they stand by the door with me and ask the next individual with a cane, walker or wheelchair to put their mobility device in the car, I would be more than willing to put my dog in the car.
I really don't think they understood what I said but they let me go.
In the same store, there was a lady managing the changing rooms once that was obviously having an issue with my dog. She was yelling about it over her intercom. Two customers, one a visually impaired lady, told her to let it go and my dog was obviously a service dog. I was in a devilish mood and although I was not shopping for clothes I just had to try something on
She didn't say a thing, had a horrible face though.
Now with taxies I do tend to get rather forceful, I tell them very clearly that several drivers have lost their jobs due to my complaints. Plus I refuse to let go of their vehicle so they can drive away. Most listen but one did loose their job yesterday (I found out today...but still have a bone to pick with the agency).
In 90% of the cases it doesn't get past step 3, but then I go to the same few places all the time.
