How can I talk to my psychologist about ESAs? Should I? (Caution)

[Psych]

Caution: mentions of my family abuse, and self-harm, suicide may be triggering to some.

I have a long history of depression and anxiety, self-harm and suicide attempts and used to be on medication for it.

When I went to college I knew I needed to start seeing someone again.  I found a psychologist who is great.  He thinks I may be on the bipolar spectrum, but it's not a diagnoses.  We've talked about my past medication, and he was able to explain why it helped with my depression, but not my anxiety.

I have a horrible relationship with my family, and I don't think I realized how bad it was until I went to school.  My father is a drug addict, my mother has her own psychological issues, my brother has anger issues.

My brother would get angry and throw food at me in front of his friends, then yell at me and say everyone would be happier if I had succeeded in killing myself, and then if I said anything back he would take off his shoe and hit me across the face with it until someone pulled him off.

My anxiety at college is horrible.  On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being calm and 10 being full blown panic attack, I have about 2-3 7-8 scale moments a day (which is a lot worse than what I had while at home with my dog).  I was at like a scale 7 for 3 days in a row over something completely stupid, but I couldn't leave my room, skipped classes, couldn't sleep, couldn't work.  When I got my dog as a teen I stopped attempting suicide, and my scale 10 panic attacks stopped almost completely.  I self harmed less, and just improved overall.  Everything I did with and for my dog made me feel better.

I come home every weekend to see my dog, but every time I come home I feel ten times worse and try to spend most of my time away from my home, out with my dog or in my room with my dog.  Right now I'm trying to not even stay at home, just get my dog and spend the weekend with another relative.

Ahh!  I feel like this sounds so stupid.  I can explain more if anyone has any specific questions, and I'm not sure if others will agree that she could/should be an ESA, but if you have any questions I will try to answer about what she does for me, etc.

My psychologist is really nice though, and he has said that this week he will bring his dog in for our session because he knows how much I miss my dog.  So he seems receptive and understanding that dogs can help people...

How should I bring this up?  I mean, I know I haven't been "diagnosed" as disabled yet, and I'm not sure if/when it will come to that.  (If I'm not disabled, I don't think I can function well without my dog, so I may have to try and get an apartment that allows pets)

SUBSTANTIALLY LIMITS ONE OR MORE MAJOR LIFE ACTIVITIES

Also, can someone explain this to me?  What is a major life activity?  I mean, if my anxiety keeps me from leaving my room for days, does that count?

Thank you for reading.  I'm sorry if this sounds... jumbled, or if it sounds like I'm jumping the gun.  I'm just so confused about how I'm going to get better and if I will.  I just feel so horrible all the time.  I feel like I'm going crazy.

[Kirsten]

major life activities include, but are not limited to, caring for oneself, performing manual tasks, seeing, hearing, eating, sleeping, walking, standing, lifting, bending, speaking, breathing, learning, reading, concentrating, thinking, communicating, and working.

http://www.servicedogcentral.org/content/node/331

So leaving your room is not a major life activity.  But if your anxiety is disabling, there will be other things on that list that are affected.  You might discuss this with your therapist.

If you live in a dorm, it would not be kind to your dog to take him back with you.  It probably wouldn't be permitted anyway.  If you live off campus, you have a much better chance of giving your dog the proper care and of getting approval to keep him.

Remember that an ESA can't be taken anywhere that pets are not permitted except most "no pets" housing and the cabins of commercial aircraft.  So while you are in class, your dog is home alone.  He needs to be in a safe place where he can stretch out and relax.  A dorm room is very confining, and very chaotic.  There is also little opportunity to exercise a dog living in a dorm.  I suspect you would do better away from the dorms as well (another thing to discuss with your therapist).

[Roxie]

No, not being able to leave your room is not a disability. It is a choice.

But there are components of anxiety and agoraphobia that are medical complications and can be considered disabling. But you and your therapist need to discuss what's going on. Sounds like you have a good therapist!

I'm sorry how your brother has treated you and the issues with your parents.

If you aren't a freshman and required to live in a dorm, why not start looking for off-campus housing where you can bring your dog as an Emotional Support Animal?

Off campus might be less stressful than on-campus living.

Personally, I think you are doing absolutely GREAT! Going to college or getting any type of training is a good thin! That plus therapy is awesome! You have the tickets to independence!

And to grab those tickets takes a heck of a lot of guts!

[Kellynbobellen]

Kirsten really took the words out of my mouth!  Trust me I completely understand how difficult it is to focus on other things when you have so much going on and are very preoccupied with your own stress.  But, part of having a SD is making sure that they are being properly and well taken care of; and a dorm or small apartment is not the ideal living situation.  But if you dont HAVE to live on campus then look into renting a small home that would have a yard and enough room for your dog to enjoy.

I am a little confused on what exactly you are wanting to talk about ESAs with your doc.  Are you hoping just to talk about getting his approval and support for getting one?  Or are you hoping to talk with him about making your current dog into an ESA?

My disability is physical and I admit that I dont know that much about the different info and laws about ESAs.  That said, I think it can be difficult for anyone to bring up this subject.  It sounds like though that your doc is already extremely supportive and open-minded about the idea of ESAs and I would be shocked that given this that he would not approve of you getting an ESA or PSD if it would improve your quality of life.

[Kirsten]

Here's some info we have on ESAs, including info about the laws related to housing and aircraft.  Includes sample letters for the PWD (person with a disability) and for their doctor to write, and step-by-step instructions:  http://servicedogcentral.org/content/esa

[DeeDee]

Hi Psych!

You sound like my identical twin - we must have been separated at birth.

major life activities include, but are not limited to, caring for oneself, performing manual tasks, seeing, hearing, eating, sleeping, walking, standing, lifting, bending, speaking, breathing, learning, reading, concentrating, thinking, communicating, and working.

http://www.servicedogcentral.org/content/node/331

So leaving your room is not a major life activity.

On the other hand, not being able to leave your room most definitely "significantly affects" your ability to care for oneself, communicate with others, and work. QED.

That being said - Psych, disability is a legal (not medical) concept, and so it must be evaluated as a judge would look at it. If you are able to stay in school (and get good enough grades to not get kicked out) that might well outweigh anything else that's going on with you in a judge's mind. But that's something you need to talk with your therapist about - you've given us a few details about your situation but I'm sure there's more to it (there always is).

I totally relate to you on the missing your dog part, too. My own guy died very suddenly 4 months ago and I am now dogless for the first time in more than 20 years. It hurts, so I know what you're going through. But what the others have said about college being a kind of tough time to get one is well-taken. Is there any other way you could get some doggy lovin' without taking on the care of one entirely at this point in time? I am thinking that something like volunteering to walk dogs at your local shelter might help you. 

Good luck to you.

[Psych]

major life activities include, but are not limited to, caring for oneself, performing manual tasks, seeing, hearing, eating, sleeping, walking, standing, lifting, bending, speaking, breathing, learning, reading, concentrating, thinking, communicating, and working.

newbielink:http://www.servicedogcentral.org/content/node/331 [nonactive]

So leaving your room is not a major life activity.  But if your anxiety is disabling, there will be other things on that list that are affected.  You might discuss this with your therapist.

If you live in a dorm, it would not be kind to your dog to take him back with you.  It probably wouldn't be permitted anyway.  If you live off campus, you have a much better chance of giving your dog the proper care and of getting approval to keep him.

Remember that an ESA can't be taken anywhere that pets are not permitted except most "no pets" housing and the cabins of commercial aircraft.  So while you are in class, your dog is home alone.  He needs to be in a safe place where he can stretch out and relax.  A dorm room is very confining, and very chaotic.  There is also little opportunity to exercise a dog living in a dorm.  I suspect you would do better away from the dorms as well (another thing to discuss with your therapist).

I have been considering that it wouldn't be fair to my dog.  I live in a single, by the secondary exit.  While there isn't a place to exercise her indoors, my room is big enough for tug, and some crazy fetch (which is what I call it when I bounce the ball off the walls for her).  I'm fortunate that I don't live in freshman housing, and live in a quiet, small dorm on the first floor.  I also live on the outskirts of housing by the walking trails.  These all work in my favor.  After talking to my grandmother it seems like I will be spending weekends with her from now on, so my dog would only be in my dorm room for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday without a break.

Against my favor is the fact that she’s a 60 lb dog (which I love, ) but is big by some people’s standards.  On my busiest day she would be alone from 11-2, 3-5, 6-9.  (fortunately my other days aren’t busy).  Some colleges have allowed ESAs, some haven’t, and even though I asked my school says they don’t have an official policy either way.  I also wonder if it isn’t fair for her to be confined in a what amounts to a bedroom.  Ugh.

I think the chances of me getting her in a dorm are slim.  My school offers apartments though, that are 1 person per bedroom, in groups of 2 to 4 with a kitchen and bath.  They also offer housing year round, so I wouldn’t have to go home over vacation.  They may be more lenient about ESA’s.

Thank you to everyone else who responded.  I originally wrote up a long response but I got logged out so I lost it when I clicked "post".