Training > Puppy Raising (publicly viewable board)

Bonding time

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jacksel:
My agility trainer mentioned something in which I think she has a point: Cara and I need to go spend some time regularly to start bonding. We already both love our cuddles, when I'm at my parents, she won't leave my lap, lol (and Jamey won't leave my moms), but she's not used to listening to me, and so she won't readily listen. I can make her sit or lie down, and I can recall her, unless she's distracted (but hey, she's only 8 months), but it does take some effort sometimes, and more then those basic things are really too much.

Now I want to start agility with her in January, when she'll be 1 yr, but I'll need to have somewhat of a bond with her to do that of course. As I normally see her once a week, I figured I could use that opportunity to work some obedience with her, maybe some dogdance tricks, and also maybe some agility basics (like a tunnel, and walking on a plank, starting with the contacts, no jumps (except for ground level), no weaves of course). I specifically don't want to be doing anything my mom is working on with her, as I promised not to interfere in her training.

What do you guys advise me to do?

Kirsten:
Dogs bond with their leader.

Leaders do three things:
1.  control access to resources
2.  control behavior
3.  stewardship

Until the dog lives with you and comes to understand that all good things and all needed things in life come from you, and that you have their back, then you won't ever have a solid bond.  It's why programs require the new handler to provide all of a dog's care when it is first placed and do not permit other family members to interact with the dog.

By having this dog live with a family member, you are setting her up to never fully bond with you.  It would be different, somewhat, with a puppy raiser she never sees again.  There is one person on the planet who can come between me and my dog.  That's his puppy raiser. 

I don't think training creates a bond, I think training is dependent on a bond already existing in order to be effective.

Roxie:
Have your dog live with you and learn to depend on you only.

Maybe not have any other dogs live with you until Cara and you have a tight bond.

Why doesn't  Cara live with you?

jacksel:
I've 'messed up' (in my eyes) an earlier puppy and didn't feel secure that I would be able to raise Cara properly to become an SD. The problemns with the other pup were wrong bread (Dutch breed you won't know, but very very sensitive dogs), he couldn't take even a harsh voice for correction (would cower from me for 30 minutes), but did start lifting his leg at 3 months, running after the girls at 4 or 5 and peeing the sofa at 7. Then when he was just a little pup, I was training him to be alone, and it would be the first time Jamey and I actually went away from home for a short walk, like 5 mins (we went outsite to come right back in etc before, we had a good gradual buildup), but I forgot my keys. So the 5 mins became at least 30, probably more like 45, so he had separation anxiety, which I couldn't manage as I live alone.

So I have had to rehome him, and he immediately bonded to the other dog there, had no problems when the owners left, but did have a problem when the other dog went away. They also had a lot of problems with his sensitivity (but told me he was wonderfully brought up, great manners, etc).

After that I was just too afraid of another pup going the wrong way, so I asked my parents to puppy-raise Cara. My mom is training her up to the basic test from my program (the sit, down, stay, social behavior to man and animal, leave it of both food and toys, recall, behavior in a crowd, etc), and then she will come and live with me. The planning is that the basic training will be finished before Cara turns one, preferably sooner and then she will be fully mine to live, train and work with. At the moment I only see Cara once a week every week, and some odd days and holidays my parents need me to dog-sit her.

Actually Jamey was raised kind of the same way, because I got her at 10 weeks old and about a month later I heard I got a room in a no-pet facility. So I only saw Jamey in the weekends. But she's just something special, she was mine from the first moment we saw each other and that never changed, even when she was living with my parents full time, and I was only a weekend guest...

Roxie:
No, Jacksel - You haven't messed up!

People get insecure. I understand your thinking and concerns better now.

I'm not a dog trainer - other than using the methods that I've been taught and that have worked for my dogs. I won't be much help with answering questions or coming up with ideas on this.

So, I'm going to defer to the real experienced trainers who really understand the dynamics of training a SD and working with puppy raisers. and transitioning the older pup to a new owner.

By the by!  My youngest daughter and her family are going to be in Amsterdam soon! And maybe Rotterdam to visit great aunt and cousins! Also to Scotland (Edinburgh) to visit hubby's mom and dad and biiiig family!

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